Getting Kids to Cooperate
When your child was a baby, he took his bath when you were ready, wore the outfit you selected, willingly went wherever you wanted to go and was generally easygoing. But with the preschool years, your child is changing. Now every request is met with a battle of wills. From getting out of the house in the morning to getting ready for bed at night, your preschooler presents a challenge in cooperation. As a parent, you sometimes feel frustrated and want to throw your hands up in despair. What’s a parent to do?
There is no “secret” solution that works for every parent every time. However, there are ways to encourage and reinforce cooperation. Preschoolers look at life as one big game so a playful approach can mean the difference between resistance and compliance. For example, if your child is resisting picking up his toys, set the kitchen timer for five minutes and challenge him to try and pick up the most toys before the timer goes off.
Another idea to try is to suggest something fun after chores or errands. “If we finish our errands before lunch, we can visit daddy at work.” When using this strategy, keep your promise and make it something you can enjoy also. For example, time spent reading an extra book together is quality time. Rewards shouldn’t always be treats.
Offering choices can give a child a sense of independence. A parent can offer a multitude of choices during the day. Everything from the choice of clothing to the choice of books to read can be used as a tool for cooperation. Just make sure you as a parent are willing to live with the choice you give your preschooler.
Make your expectations clear to your child. Take a moment to get eye to eye with your child and issue a brief request without barking commands. Another important thing to remember with children is that they need advance warning before ending an activity. Children this age are sensitive to disruptions in their routine and do better with transition when they are told what is coming.
Picking your battles wisely is good advice throughout parenting but is especially necessary with your preschooler. Now is the time to lay down the framework of self-esteem by letting children feel successful in their everyday accomplishments. Is it really vital that the bed is made perfectly? An attempt to pull covers over the pillows can be acceptable.
Getting children to cooperate can be a difficult thing to achieve for most parents. However, with a little creativity, understanding, consistency, and a lot of love, parents can find ways that work best with children. Helping children develop a cooperative attitude can help them with stronger friendships, success in school and eventually, meaningful contribution to society.
Jill Phillips
ECFE Parent Educator
Minnesota Wins Early Learning Challenge Fund Competition! - December 16, 2011
From Child Care WORKS:
The official announcement will be made by the U.S. Department of Education later this morning, but the AP is reporting that Minnesota is one of nine states to win significant federal funding to strengthen our early care and education system.
Quick Links:
Associated Press Report
(at Minnesota Public Radio)
Minnesota’s Race to the Top Early Learning Application
More details will be forthcoming as the official announcement is made today - and mark your calendar for Tuesday, January 3 to join us for a Policy Hour conversation with Minnesota Director of Early Learning Services, Karen Cadigan, to learn more.
Congratulations Minnesota Race to the Top Early Learning Challenge team!
Child Care Policy Update
The Minnesota legislature is currently on recess and will reconvene on January 24, 2012.
Thanks to all who have given feedback on our 2012 Policy Agenda - our Board of Directors will be approving a final agenda in early January, so let us know if you have any additional comments or questions (email mary@childcareworks.org)!
NEW LOOK & LOCATION COMING IN JANUARY!
We are very pleased to announce that Child Care WORKS is moving to a new office AND a new website this January! Please update your files with this information. Our website address will remain www.childcareworks.org but will offer many new ways to connect with our work!
As of January 3, 2012 our office will be located at:
Child Care WORKS
709 University Ave W
Saint Paul, MN 55104-4804
Phone: (651) 265-2322
Fax: (651) 227-0621
Please note that our office and website will be closed from December 19, 2011 to January 2, 2012 for the move. We will reopen on Tuesday, January 3, 2012.