Developing a Close Relationship With Your Child
Since February is the “love” month, one in which we celebrate our love for our family, this article will deal with developing a close relationship with your children. There is a book in our ECFE parent library called Simplify Your Life With Kids by Elaine St. James. This bestselling author, who’s written other similar books, is considered America’s foremost expert on living the simple life. What she has to say to parents is especially important and thought-provoking.
Number one on her list in developing a close relationship with your child is to tell your children you love them and show them in many ways. At Parkview school the other day, I overheard a dad say to his son as he was leaving, “I love you, dude.” Physical affection is also very important. A kiss, hug, or gentle pat on the back are all good ways to display love. A child’s job is to establish his/her independence. As parents, we need to be there for our children—a steady, loving, accepting presence in their lives.
Another thing St. James suggests is to accept our children for who they are. Love them unconditionally. Much of our children’s character is beyond our control. Research tells us that a child’s personality is already determined at birth. Maybe one child “clicks” with your personality and the other fights it. Viva la difference! Try to find something enjoyable in all your children. Let them be who they are, whatever that may be. Let them have their own dreams!
Raising happy, well-adjusted children is the greatest challenge parents face. Developing a close relationship with your children is key to making that challenge enjoyable and fulfilling.
Jill Phillips
ECFE Parent Educator