Your “Picture Perfect” Child
New year’s resolutions are running rampant in January! I hope the new year prompts us to think of our relationship with our children. I hope we take stock of how parenting is progressing, looking at what is working and what is not. This month I would like to look at the “pictures” we have in our minds concerning our relationship with our children and the reality of what real life is like. I think we all have our own preconceived notions of what being a parent will be like. Maybe we think of happy, sunlit days with a beautiful melody playing softly in the background, and smiling, confident children looking up at us with love and admiration. (I know that was always my vision!)
But, as any parent knows, life isn’t always “picture perfect.” Maybe you picture yourself and your new baby gently rocking in your comfortable Lazy-boy until he is sound asleep in your arms with a contented smile on his face. Instead, you have a baby who will only fall asleep while you pace back-and-forth and pat him vigorously on the bottom. It is not exactly how you pictured it.
Maybe you imagine your children upstairs playing with each other, laughing and singing a familiar tune while you get a chance to read the next chapter in your mystery novel and savor a cup of coffee. What you might get is this: Your children upstairs yelling at the top of their lungs, wrestling on the floor as you hear thuds and bumps! One of them (usually the youngest) comes racing downstairs crying so hard she can barely speak. You spill your coffee all over your lap as you hurry to see if anyone is bleeding. It is not quite the way you pictured it.
Maybe you picture having a child who is quiet and calm. Instead, your child is a nonstop talker who has to be reminded not to interrupt others. Or maybe you imagine having a child who listens and willingly follows directions most of the time. Instead, you get a child who often questions every direction and seeks an alternative way of doing things. In other words, you get a real child, one that is not a Kodak photo. You get a hand-drawn, crayon-colored picture. You get a child who is learning all about the world and how it works. You get a child that needs you to listen to his stories and heartaches. You get a child that looks to you for patience, discipline, and encouragement. You get a child that makes your role as a parent challenging. You’ve ended up with a remarkable child who is a beautiful, original creation.
Jill Phillips
ECFE Parent Educator