Sharing and the Preschool Child
When it comes to sharing, preschool children often don’t understand the concept. They have a difficult time seeing any other point of view but their own. That does not mean they are spoiled or selfish. Sharing is difficult because preschoolers are not yet able to see the relationship between giving up something immediately and getting it back later. Parents know that being able to share is an important part of friendship and it makes struggles and tears less likely. So, what can parents do to help children learn to share?
The following are some helpful hints about sharing:
1. Let children have some things to own. Before children can let go of something to share, they have to know what it means to “own” it. Let children have certain possessions that are theirs alone and not for sharing, such as a special stuffed animal.
2. Help children feel good about sharing. Praise children for everyday moments that involve sharing. If they offer a piece of candy from their stash, take it and make a point of thanking them for sharing.
3. Children learn from parents’ example. Parents can talk about times they shared something and share their own items with children. For example, a parent may have a book from her childhood and be willing to “share” it with her child by reading it together. Also, sharing thoughts and feelings with children is important in building a lifelong relationship of understanding and closeness.
4. Plan playtimes to make sharing easier. Before a friend comes over, a child can decide which toys to put away that are not for sharing and which toys will be for sharing. Suggest play ideas to help children share and take turns, such as playing a board/card game, playing catch with a ball, and building something together with blocks. Sometimes a timer is helpful to decide how long children will have a toy.
Learning to share is a long journey for children. It will come in time if they have ample opportunities to practice the art of sharing in a group setting in school or with a friend/ sibling at home. A parent’s role is to make these teachable moments possible.
Jill Phillips
ECFE Parent Educator