Using Birth Order as a Guide for Parenting
Birth order is always an interesting topic for discussion in ECFE parent groups. It is one factor that influences every child. When parents have knowledge of the impact that birth order may have on their children, they can use this to understand their children’s learning and behavior, as well as enhance their own parenting.
The following are some characteristics for each birth order position in the family:
First Born: perfectionist, reliable, natural leader, serious, logical, task-oriented
Middle: mediator, flexible, avoids conflict, secretive, maverick, very social
Youngest: manipulator, people person, attention seeker, tempermental, rebellious, humorous
Parents can use these characteristics to gain insight into the complex behavior of their first born, middle, and youngest children. Some helpful things to remember with firstborns are to spend time one-on-one with them, give them special privileges to offset responsibilities and avoid making them a frequent babysitter. Some helpful things to remember with middle children are to set aside time often just to talk, make sure they feel special and occasionally buy them new clothing rather than always giving them hand-me-downs. Some things to remember with youngest children are to resist coddling them, acknowledge their accomplishments so they don’t feel lost in the shuffle, and to be sure they have their share of responsibilities.
Understanding birth order can help parents know what to expect from their children, what to avoid, and how to get a wanted response. This can be an advantage in dealing with family situations, helping bring out the best from all siblings. Parents can use birth order insights to create a family in which brothers and sisters love and support each other long into the future.
Jill Phillips
ECFE Parent Educator