Understanding Your Child’s Temperament
A child is born with his/her temperament or personality. Parents can begin to determine their baby’s temperament by watching how she/he reacts to feeding, bathing, other people and all that is in the environment. Understanding a child’s temperament is one part of knowing him/her. When a parent knows the child’s temperament, a parent can see things through his/her eyes, anticipate when things maybe difficult and adjust the situation or a parent’s attitude and expectations to help the child be ready for what comes.
Understanding our own temperament as a parent can help us work with our child’s. If our temperament is very different than our child’s, it can be a challenge to find ways to adjust. Also, if children and parents are similar, things maybe easier but stressful in other ways. Parents have to adapt to their children because children can’t yet control or change their behavior.
Here are some ways to work with your child’s temperament to help life go more smoothly:
1. Accept the temperament and talents of each child. Look for the good qualities and take each into account when planning activities, disciplining, and playing.
2. Resist labeling each child. Tagging a child with a label limits his/her ability to be who he/she really is. Everyone will have expectations of behavior, which may or may not come true.
3. Match discipline and positive parenting methods to each child’s temperament. For example, “time out” can work in different ways for different temperaments. Social children like being part of a group and may be willing to change their behavior to rejoin a group. A quiet child may enjoy the chance to sit by himself/herself before coming back to a group.
4. Teach children how to handle situations that may be difficult because of their temperament. A parent’s job is to help their children develop skills and tricks for getting along in life.
Jill Phillips
Parent Educator